If you asked 10 different psychological experts you might get 10 different definitions for Emotional Intelligence. Substantial disagreement exists on the definition. To the average person Daniel Goleman is probably the most familiar author on Emotional Intelligence however it has been a concept that has been developing for over 30 years. Rather than debate the definition of Emotional Intelligence lets look at some core concepts of Emotional Intelligence and what might indicate a significant deficit.
Many of my clients comment “I am an intelligent person why can’t I figure it out on my own”. Many times this confusion is due to the lack of recognition that Intellectual intelligence is different from Emotional Intelligence and there is a wealth of information our emotions give us. In my opinion any good psychotherapist supports the development of Emotional Intelligence.
There is actually a word for a significant deficit in Emotional Intelligence. Alexithymia refers to deficiencies in recognizing, understanding, processing, and describing emotions. As you can imagine, when alexithymia is present it creates a multitude of challenges interpersonally. It follows, the greater the ability to recognize, understand, process, and describe emotions the more Emotional Intelligence exists.
Why is Emotional Intelligence Important?
Regardless of what you call it, being able to recognize, manage, and self-regulate our emotions is the foundation for attunement with self and others. It is difficult to have accurate awareness of others if we do not have the ability to read and manage our own emotional activations. Our attunement to social norms and empathetic attunement with others stems from our Emotional Intelligence.
These skills can be used everyday to enhance both our professional lives and our personal lives. The ability to “read people” comes from Emotional Intelligence. Although there are some who believe these abilities are genetic the majority of psychological experts believe they are primarily learned.